More people are choosing to live child free than any other time in history. Some have opted out of parenthood because frankly, they know they would suck at it. Other philanthropists believe there are too many unwanted children already out there, while the self-centered find themselves acknowledging their drive to succeed becoming their own child. Others have given up on finding a person to procreate with for fear of being stuck dealing with a douchebag or crazy bitch for the rest of their lives. Most of these childless folk are swimming in a pool of prospective fish that includes the dread of the sea, the single parent. It’s a mish mosh of intermingling that can foster complex communications but rarely a solid foundation for a relationship. Because, why would we want to work so hard at it? While the Brady Bunch seemed to navigate each episode as if no one wrote it out for them, we have to imagine that off set there was a bunch of drama that would have made for a great soap opera. But we try anyway; we have to, because it’s in our nature.
TO BREED OR NOT TO BREED: Is that a question?
A friend of mine with children has reentered the dating pool and on a recent application taking (a date) found herself in quite the uncomfortable position. A gentlemanly man who possessed some qualities she found attractive, a good job (yes ladies that should always be first), strong manly features, and he was from the Caribbean-accent and all, courted her for some time before she agreed to meet him at a restaurant. He opened the door for her and did and said all the other appropriate things a gentleman does. As they got to know each other he admiringly stared at her from across the table. To the degree that a bit of uncomfortable prompted her to ask, “What?”
“I want to breed you.” he answered.
As her chin hit the deck she replied, “You want to, BREED me?”
“Yes, I would like to breed you.” he repeated in his sexy accent.
“Like, a dog?” she retorted.
“No, no,” he laughed, “I have six, and want a seventh, and you have a good genes.”
No matter how sexy his accent was she just couldn’t get past the gall of this guy. She surmised that from a distance he had been watching her, sizing up her hips, deciding he would attempt to add her to his baby mama brood. She gulped down the last bit of wine in her glass, chalked it up to a cultural thing and countered with, “Um, my breeding days are over honey.” Needless to say, there was no second date.
The next week she embarked on another application taking with a younger man who had no children of his own. No doubt a decision influenced by her encounter with the gentlemanly Caribbean. But this man too set off an alarm when he expressed his disinterest in children in general, and his obvious love-for himself. Alas, my friend continues to interview prospects as the advances come pouring in, and one by one they eliminate themselves from becoming the man who holds her at night. She believes that one day she will find her mate, equal to her character, who will accept her children, but doesn’t want any of his own. I’m sure there is a man swimming in the same pool who wants the same thing. A woman with no interest in baring his spawn – because he’s done sowing his seeds. He too conducts interview after interview but has yet to hire anyone worthy for the position. Oh the irony; the likelihood of either of them finding that perfect fit, so difficult. They’ve set potentially unattainable standards, given that most people who don’t want or have children are seeking a partner similar to themselves. It’s the Catch 22 of singlehood for those with vs. those without. However, they still try, and they both still sleep alone.
So, there’s that.